This post is probably the most transparent I’ve ever been with you all. I don’t want sympathy, just open your heart and listen.  

Back in May, I wrote a blog post called, “The Countdown to Testimony.” It chronicled my final days living in Brooklyn, NY and how I wanted so badly for God to come through for me so I wouldn’t have to return home to Moncks Corner, SC.

Needless to say, things didn’t work out or “improve” from there.

In my time being home, I’ve experienced a series of tests and trials; one after another.

After applying to pretty much every retailer and grocery store in my town, I am still unemployed. This took a huge hit to my confidence because even with a degree and years’ worth of job experience, it seems as if no one wants to be bothered with me.

Since no job means no money, I’ve been broke; like dumb-stupid broke. Like, bank-account-in-overdraft-but-I-still-have-bill-collectors-calling-me broke.

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly. – John 10:10

When I moved from the city, I was hoping, praying, and having avocado-seed-sized faith for God’s provision up until the day before my lease was up. Because of that, I had to scramble to find a storage unit to put my things into before heading back home. It was hectic, y’all.

Choosing this particular unit was probably one of the worst decisions I’ve made in 2017. Long story short, I was able to keep up the payments for the first 2 months being home, but again, being unemployed, I soon fell behind.

The late fees piled on top of each other, until the inevitable happened:

When you go without paying storage, they have to right to keep your belongings and auction them off. That’s what happened to me. As of November 21st, all of my clothes, shoes, bed, books, draws, memories and anything else I couldn’t fit into my suitcase back in May, are gone.

It still feels weird to think about or even write it: gone. That’s so final, you know?

Like, all of the things that I paid for with my hard earned money, all the pictures, my journals, are gone.

On top of that, my phone was off for two months (because… unemployment), until an angel by the name of Shae, a classmate from college and founder of Happy Girl Glow, came in and helped a sistah out.

Still, that was an extremely difficult time because I felt completely closed off from the world unless I went to the library to use the Wi-Fi, because no, I do not have Wi-Fi at home.

This all caused me to fall into a deep depression.

Like, I’m talking dark-dark-dark depression. I wanted to give up on life and everything in it (this site included) because I was no longer confident in God’s abilities.

I lost hope.

I was thought to myself, “I’m praying and trusting you, God, but where is He???” Jesus came so that we might have life and have it more abundantly, but all I saw was hardship.

God pruned every person I called “friend” from my life and showed me their true heart towards me. One in particular just wanted to preach at me about how I wasn’t doing enough instead of understanding just a little bit of where I was coming from.

I’ve been the “strong” friend for so many years, but this one season of supposed “weakness” completely through off our dynamic (Which is pretty pathetic if you think about it). But let’s be real, nobody really wants to be around you while you’re at your lowest. When you’re severely depressed and can’t force yourself to smile for the sake of their comfort. That version of you depresses them, and who wants that if everything is going well in their life?

But I digress…

I’ve lost a lot in these last few months. I’ve lost everything that I held dear, everything that made me feel “worthy,” everything that gave me comfort. But the only constant during this time has been God.

The last half of 2017 has been hell. I’ve wanted to call it quits so many times, but God came in right in the nick of time, not with money or material things, but with His grace, mercy, and indescribable peace.

He has transformed me in a way that I know I wouldn’t have experience with all the distracting hustle and bustle of New York. He had to sit me still so he could work on me. He’s restored my confidence, infused me with inspiration and creativity, and has allowed me to grow as a better sister, daughter, auntie, and overall person.

I know I’ve lost pretty much everything, but what I’ve gained through Christ is so much more than that.

Initially, I wanted to write this when I was “out” of this season. When I had the job, when my closet was full again, when I was this gleaming beckon of hope; but I wanted to show you all what God can do when things still aren’t completely “perfect.”

I want to encourage anyone reading this who is going through unthinkable lost (probably far worse than what I’ve experienced). I want you to know that God is still good.

You may want to shake your fist at God, call Him a liar, or even think He doesn’t love you, but He does. He loves you like crazy and He wants to use your trials to bring you closer to Him.

His hand is extended to you and He wants to be your friend, your father, and the greatest love you’ll ever know.

In the face of trial, run to Him: He’s been waiting for you.

Before you go: Spread love in the comment below! ❤

Peace, peace, peace,

Aley Arion 

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Posted by:aleyarion

when i first set out to create my blog, i just wanted an outlet to balance my mundane college schedule. but over the years, it has become so much more. writing is how i process my world & the events that take place within it. through, i seek to help my fellow 20-somethings, like me, working to find light when their paths seem darkened and learn from my mistakes so i can save you the trouble of repeating them. is witty, vulnerable, and transparent, but most importantly, it's me, unapologetically. peace, peace, peace Aley Arion business inquiries:

17 replies on “When You Lose Everything…

  1. I am so sorry for what you are going through. “The Lord has filled the hungry with good things, but the rich he has sent away.” Know that the deep injustice of this season of your life is not pleasing to God or to his church, but while you are in this state you can reap the spiritual rewards of poverty. I would encourage you to look into Franciscan spirituality, which seeks to alleviate poverty while using it to further the kingdom of God.

  2. Thank you for this Aley. You are not alone. You are loved and very special to this world. Talented and beautiful!! Thank you!!

  3. Thanks for being transparent Aley. I needed to read this. It just sparked a reassurance in my own walk with God ❤️

  4. Once again this is a blog I can relate to, I had this similar situation happen to me. I lost so many “so called” friends because of my struggles but I didn’t lose my faith.. although things aren’t as perfect as they could be. Im still trusting in God!
    Good Read!

    1. amen! so glad this resonated with you! this year has been the fight of my life & although trusting God hasn’t been the easiest, it’s all I have. & I’m praying for your continued strength! & feel free to share this with your circle 💕♥️✨

  5. Reading this I was like does she know my life lol. We’ve shared a lot of the same experiences. I went through almost 3 years of feeling like I had nothing and to be honest not proud of myself , feeling unaccomplished. I was unemployed, lived with my parents, down on myself in so many ways, stuck in a rut. Jan 2017-July, although I had a job experienced the worst depression , cried almost everyday and dreaded pretty much everyday. I was ruining friendships because no one wants to hear someone complain everyday (and I’m also the “strong” friend). Anyway God puts us through difficult seasons to build us up and make us more grateful for life. Looking back it was such a hard time but I’m glad I went through it. Every day I’m so grateful for what I have. You’ve gotten through things before and you will get through this too, First step is acknowledging the season your in and the rest will come. The best is yet to come! God Bless your beautiful spirit. Peace & Light Sunflower.

    1. haha awww, man! It’s so crazy how many “me too’s” I’ve gotten from this post. you really think you’re the only one going thru until your tear the veil down & share your story. ughh, we really do share a lot of similarities with these season, but look at us, talking about it, sharing our truths. There’s power in that. Like you said, the best is yet to come & oh, is it coming! 💕 stay encouraged! & feel free to share this with your circle ✨♥️

  6. After reading your post, I thought of this quote “promise me you’ll always remember…you’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, & loved more than you know”-Christopher Robin to Pooh. Things will get better you just have to give it time, patience and know that God will be there for you.

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