What’s the deal with millennials? What happened to the days where we would write down our number on a piece of notebook paper, fold it into quarters and hope that we would get a phone call when we got in from school before our parents got home? Conversation is a dying art form that got lost somewhere between the conception of the Motorola Razr and the 140-character limit on Twitter.

Consequently, this lack of people skills has trickled into parts of our daily lives like forming small talk on the elevator, speaking to strangers in the grocery store, and dating. Now, instead of calling to get to know your love interest, we expect to learn someone’s whole life story through a series of drawn out texts and emojis. If you ask me, I’m an old-school millennial who still believes that the best way to get to know someone is through hour(s) long conversations that bridge the rising of the moon to dawn. What happened to loosing track of time in the form of shared words verbalized through childhood stories and discussions about “the meaning of life?”  Just me? Oh.

If you’re dating someone and are starting to realize that they’re pulling way, it could be because they’re just not interested… or need more from you outside of texting… but in the case of the latter, here are a few reasons why she’s not texting you back:


More than anything in this world, I think I can speak for most women when I say, “ohhhhhmyyyygoshhh, I cannot stand a non-conversational, open-ended question asking, wyd?, wya? wwjd? guy.”  But not only that, you legit are not interesting, like… at all. This is the guy who seemingly has nothing exciting or noteworthy happening in his life and thus has nothing to contribute to the conversation. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be the one carrying our discussions all the time, cracking all the jokes, making all the points; I mean, if that’s the case, I can just talk to my dang self. Sir, where is your personality? Pull it out and introduce me to it, if you don’t mind.giphy


Consistency is key in the dating/talking phase, so if you’re not showing her that you are committed to getting to know her through daily communication, not just when you’re bored, then what’s her incentive to continue to engage? If you can’t talk at the moment, you’re too busy, your auntie fell ill,  let her know you have a lot on your plate and can’t respond back to her as quickly as you normally would. But don’t just fall of the face of the earth, leave her hanging with no notice of your departure, and expect her to be there to pick up the phone when you return. That’s not fair and chances are she’s got another guy ready to take your place.giphy (1)


If texting is your only form of communication then you’ve already lost, bruh. In most cases, a girl will entertain a guy through texting as she’s getting to know him, but don’t get it twisted, there is a threshold for this form of communication. If there’s no indication that this thing y’all have going will move from the blue and green bubbles to dial up some digits, then what incentive does she have to come back? Where is this going? What is we doing? Now, you could just not be that interested in her to put the effort in to make the call, but to that I say:

Am i the only one who would prefer a guy to just cut off all communication with me if he’s not interest, instead of leading me on, dragging me threw long, pointless conversations?

Where’s the humanity in that? Like, sir, please have mercy on me and take me out my misery.

I’ll speak for myself, but I’m too smart for day-long/week-long conversations solely through texting. My thoughts are too elaborate and too brilliant to be confined to just texting. If I wanted to type out my whole day/week to you, I would write a blog post on it. So, do us all a favor and pick up the phone.


Things like, “Dang, you so sexy, girl,” and “I’m tryna feel on that booty, girl,” are some of the quickest ways for a girl to hit: DELETE, DELETE, DELETE. This varies from woman to woman because not all of us have the same needs. But for those of us who want to wait until marriage or at least until we know there’s some love between us, you gotta put some work in, my brother. Jumping straight to the chase with remarks about her physical appearance and what you’d like to do to her physically, is a complete turn off and will have you cut off quicker than you can say, “sup.”giphy (2)

Before you leave: I hope this post helps some guys our there to become better communicators when it comes to dating/talking to young women. EFFORT is all a lot of us are asking for; you’re capable, but if you’re not that interested, let her know that too! Anyway, let me know in the comments below your thoughts about this topic, I’d love to hear!

Peace, peace, peace,

Aley Arion 

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Posted by:aleyarion

when i first set out to create my blog, i just wanted an outlet to balance my mundane college schedule. but over the years, it has become so much more. writing is how i process my world & the events that take place within it. through aleyarion.com, i seek to help my fellow 20-somethings, like me, working to find light when their paths seem darkened and learn from my mistakes so i can save you the trouble of repeating them. aleyarion.com is witty, vulnerable, and transparent, but most importantly, it's me, unapologetically. peace, peace, peace Aley Arion business inquiries: aleyarion@gmail.com

4 replies on “Why She’s Not Texting You Back

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