Dear young men, ages 22-25:
Did you all decide to hold a secret collective meeting, vowing that the year of our Lord, 2017, would the year to act a plum fool???
Okay… breath Aley… tell them what happened:
September 2016 marked my decisions to go off the market. I deleted all my dating apps and stopped putting myself “out there.” If someone would approach me, I would look into it, but not too deeply or seriously. I felt my singlehood was beginning to consume my thoughts and even the way I navigated throughout my days, so put it on the back burned to focus on my own personal and spiritual development. I have to give myself some credit though: I’ve been doing pretty daggon good these last few month, not pressed for a man and all.
But, as the universe would have it, as I ease my way back into the dating scene, your girl has been getting tried from left and right!
Take this recent encounter for example:
My DMs have been a fruitless, sunken place for many, many months, so when I received a red notification mark, I looked to see who could possible be stopping by. I engaged, and after a couple of exchanges, I arrived to the conclusion that this young man seemed “different” and might actually be interested. He asked, in a gentle approach, if he could get to know me and since I appreciated his gesture, I thought, hey, why now.
It didn’t take long before my f—boi senses started tingling and I knew this was headed in the wrong direction. For instance, he would take days to reply to my texts; like if he was a college course, I would have him on Tuesdays and Thursday.Now, at the rightful age of 23, approaching 24, I though that there was an unspoken rule to leave childish things like not answering text messages in a timely manner, behind. I’ve been misled. We were scheduled to meet for a date the following Sunday so I told him to let me know what time to be ready and where to meet. Sunday morning came… no text. Sunday afternoon and evening passed, still no text. In my eyes, he stood me up. So in an attempt to avoid any more confusion or hurt feelings, I told him to stop texting me.
For a week…
After thinking I was in the clear, I received a text from an unknown number with a Brooklyn area code, requesting forgiveness and a date to show his contrition (his words, not mine). When asked why he was was unable to attend our scheduled date the first time, he replied, “I just got too busy for my own good.”Silly, nice, merciful Aley agreed to forgive his transgressions, thinking that maybe I had been too hard on the guy and decided to give him another chance to prove himself. I mean, we all get busy, right?
We go on the date and I am in full regret mode.
Now, don’t get me wrong, the date was well thought out. Coffee shop and the museum? I can get down with that. But as the evening progressed, I started to think that the scheduled events were more for him than for us. Why?
Well, maybe it was the time his passingly asked that I take a picture of him in front of the coffee shop…
Or maybe it was the second time he asked for a picture when we got to the museum.
Or it might have been the fact that he asked for these pictures to be taken on MY PHONE!
Is that a thing now? To request a photo from a complete stranger that you’re supposed to have some kind of interest in, to be taken on their phone? What if my photography skills were mediocre? Thank God for my knowledge of angles and lighting; but needless to say, I was mad uncomfortable.
I’m venting, yes. But the question still stands, what’s wrong with these ni… I mean.. young men of our generation?
Fellas, take it from me: plan your dates; don’t leave the girl your interested in wondering/guessing about the time or place of the date or if it’s even going to take place. Let her know at least a day ahead of time and send a reminder text in the morning to let her know that you all are still on and you look forward to meeting.
Also… DO NOT ASK HER TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU ON HER PHONE ON THE FIRST DATE. EVER.
Before you go: Do guys just seem to have it all wrong in this day in age? Or are us ladies just too hard to please? Leave your comments below letting me know your thoughts; I’d love to hear!
Peace, peace, peace,