Admit it.

We all have that one person we follow on social media, who’s success makes our skin crawl.

We see them post about a new job they got out of (what seems like) nowhere or all the places they’re traveling to and the first thing to pop into our heads is, “Why do they always get to do xyz?” Or, “Dang, here he/she goes doing this or that, they’re not that great, I deserve xyz too.”

Jealousy, envy, and hateration are all natural human emotions, but in my eyes, it’s what you do with these emotions that result in the positive or negative direction of our paths.

A few weeks ago, I got my edges snatched and my life properly handed to me when one of my favorite multi-media girl bosses, Franchesca Ramsey, best known as Chescaleigh, dropped a series of gems in the form of Snapchat videos that gave me a new perspective. The message: Stop Hating and Start Studying. (click the pic below Image result for brown pointing down emoji)

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Ramsey begins by sharing how back when she was still working a desk job as a graphic designer, she began to notice this person who’s career was taking off and she could no understand what was so great about them. She thought, I’m just as good, they can’t be all that great to be getting these opportunities. 

Until she met them.

When she did, it was to her surprise that not only was this person extremely pleasant, but in a Mr. Krabs, paradigm shifting moment, they began to drop a ton of career advice on her that she was not expecting to receive.

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Then it hit her: while she was sitting around hating on their successes not focusing on her own grind, they were putting the work in to receive those opportunities!

I can completely relate to Franchesca’s rant. I follow a couple of 20-something black girls who are killing the game right now, and for some time, I would observe their success from the sidelines wishing it was me. And as they continued to climb, I was staying in the same place.

When I finally decided that I was no longer going to waste time as their spectator, that’s when I heard Franchesca’s message, and I knew it was confirmation.

I say it time and time again that with social media, we only see the results of what people are doing, but never the work that’s put in before hand. But what if, for a change, we considered the entire process and not just what glitters and shines on our timeline?

One of the tips that Franchesca suggests is to make a list of all the people you jealously admire, and write out what it is that they are doing that you aren’t.

Do they workout often?

Are they writing? Reading? Studying their craft? 

Do they network and reach out to the right people for advice and opportunities?

Without idolizing them, study the way they move and incorporate it into your daily habits and see how things change. Turn the tables from hateration to inspiration.

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Can you relate? Is there someone who’s success you can’t stand? Let me know how you plan on turning it into inspiration in the comments below, I’d love to hear!  ❤

Peace, peace, peace,

Aley Arion 

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Posted by:aleyarion

when i first set out to create my blog, i just wanted an outlet to balance my mundane college schedule. but over the years, it has become so much more. writing is how i process my world & the events that take place within it. through aleyarion.com, i seek to help my fellow 20-somethings, like me, working to find light when their paths seem darkened and learn from my mistakes so i can save you the trouble of repeating them. aleyarion.com is witty, vulnerable, and transparent, but most importantly, it's me, unapologetically. peace, peace, peace Aley Arion business inquiries: aleyarion@gmail.com

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