Sup Royalty,

I have to be honest… I recently hit a heavy writer’s block. Overwhelmed by doubt and 0001-26991248self-inflicted sorrow, I had to ask myself, “Girl, what’s wrong with you?” I couldn’t quite put my finger on the cause of my self-pity until I had my quiet-time with God this morning. He assured me that I wasn’t spiraling into a deep depression and that my world would not be coming to an end, but that I was feeling the effects of a powerful drug called, comparison.

It only takes a little bit to get you high, but the side effects are long lasting; trust me. You’ll begin to feel down for no apparent reason, moodiness will occur, and the chills of withdrawal will have you running back to the warmth of your Instagram feed, checking up on God knows who, just to get your next hit. But I’m here to let you know that it’s time to put the pipe down.

For a moment, I felt like this summer was getting away from me. My faith had me expecting not to still be at my current job, because these long overnight hours have left me with little energy throughout the day to create posts. But somehow, I’ve made time to check up on my old classmates to see what they’re up to and read blog post on how this person received this opportunity and whatnot. Imagine trying to remain focused on your own journey while you’re watching someone else’s unfold almost perfectly… yeah, let’s just say those thoughts got a bit out of hand, so I’m grateful that God snatched me up for that.

What makes comparison dangerous is that it’s so easy to fall into, yet it only bares fruits of jealously and pure negativity. One moment you’ll be casually strolling down your Instagram feed, the next, you’ll see so-and-so posting about an internship they got in New York, then you’ll go to their page and see who they’ve been taking pictures with; which will lead you to someone else’s page, and 2 hours later you would have worked yourself into a tizzy, asking how you got there. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. *insert emoji eyes*

But trust and believe, if I’m writing about it, I’m living it too! So, it’s only right that I share some tips on how to overcome your addiction because honey, it’s time to be set free.

1.) Don’t hate, congratulate. This is the first piece of advice, because let’s face it; it’s the hardest to do. When we see someone who has achieved something, it’s so easy to think, dang, why hasn’t something like that happened for me? You’ve been faithful in your current position… you’ve been praying and believing, but still nothing has come up. Well here’s a little exercise for you: the next time you hear someone’s good news, congratulate them. Don’t think about it, just do it; and as you continue to practice this, it will become easier for you to do. You see, it’s so easy for us to look over someone who’s in a dark/low place, but as soon as they glo-up, we can’t find it in us to rejoice in their success. Romans 12:15 tells us very simply to, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” There must be a balance. And just think, if you’ve actively participated in someone’s struggle, it will be 10x easier to share in their success, because you’ve witnessed their trials.

2.) Put. The. Phone. Down. Has it ever occurred to you that the source of all of this is sitting right in your hand… literally. We are in a strange time where we are able to see someone else’s life unfold as it happens, minute by minute, day by day. Whether it’s a status update or an uploaded photo, we have a first row seat to a biopic that we may or may not have wanted to see. Keep in mind that people are only going to post they best parts of their life, but, if you are in a place where going down your timeline is going to lead you down a mental dejection… close the app, sign off if you have to, and Put. The. Phone. Down.

3.) FOCUS ON YOU, Boo. This is scripture! Galatians 6:4 puts it very plain saying, “Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.” When you know you are working hard on yourself, for yourself; you won’t need to compare yourself to others. And if we’re being completely honest, the only ideal that we should be comparing ourselves to is that of Jesus Christ who is the ONLY standard. When He is our standard, we can then understand how we still fall short, but we can work harder each day to be more like Him, not man. So what are your main focuses? Say it with me, “MYSELF & GOD.” Good, you’ve got it!

4.) Don’t compare your Chapter 2, to someone else’s Chapter 15. Because you don’t know where these people have come from. You could just be starting on your walk with Christ and your watching Lauren who has been in the game for 6+ years now. Or you could be reading up on the results of James’ 10 years of blood, sweat and tears. We never know what someone has been through to get to where they are today, that has you stressing over them. For all you know, they could have been in the same spot as you, feeling the same way you do at this very moment. What, you think people just wake up successful? Nah, it don’t work like that. Be mindful of who’s walk you’re paying attention to, and instead of looking at them in comparison, use their journey as a source of inspiration.

As always, I hope that this has blessed someone. Writing this out has really helped me to get my mind right, but as I mentioned, it takes practice. If you can relate to this, be sure to comment and let me know! I’d love to hear from you all. Stay focused on you, and God… you’re time is coming. 🙂

You’ve just been served.

Posted by:aleyarion

when i first set out to create my blog, i just wanted an outlet to balance my mundane college schedule. but over the years, it has become so much more. writing is how i process my world & the events that take place within it. through aleyarion.com, i seek to help my fellow 20-somethings, like me, working to find light when their paths seem darkened and learn from my mistakes so i can save you the trouble of repeating them. aleyarion.com is witty, vulnerable, and transparent, but most importantly, it's me, unapologetically. peace, peace, peace Aley Arion business inquiries: aleyarion@gmail.com

9 replies on “The Drug of Comparison: How to Overcome Your Addiction

  1. Damn! The outfit of the day posts was cool BUT THESE POSTS YOU BEEN WRITING SINCE YOU GRADUATED ARE POWERFUL. I love number 4. You’re so right about people only posting the good parts of their life. Knowing this you shouldn’t never be depressed about someone’s status update.

    I found myself comparing myself to you in a good way and wish I could have articulated a post like this.

    1. Thanks so much! It really means a lot to hear this. Post grad life has really got me going through, but writing things out has helped me process and I just want to help my readers, being you 🙂 but just keep writing! You will find it in you to articulate your thoughts in your own unique way. I appreciate your comments too btw

      1. What is your major again?

        I thought about your recent posts today because I just started a job I don’t like. But I have to do it right now.

        What I meant is writing straight up. I’m good at my conceptual writing and writing stories. But when it comes to writing in a direct way I stumble. I know I can do it if I sat on my topic. I’m at my best writing with restrictions. I just love how you took the idea of comparison and used it as a drug. Then your style was conversational. Like you was talking to your readers individually.

        I hope you get the time to write more. I really hope that next door opens for you soon.

      2. I graduated with my B.S. in Marketing.

        And even though you don’t like your new job, congrats on receiving it!

        Thank you for breaking that down for me, I have a better understanding now. My writing style comes from me journaling a lot when I was younger and now. So I try to write like I’m talking to myself, in hopes to make it easier for both my readers and me to understand. Do you journal? And funny thing is, it took me forever to get that concept together (comparison being a drug) but after reading the bible on it, that’s what helped me come up with it. 🙂

        I really plan on getting more post out on a more regular basis. It mean a lot to hear that you enjoy my posts. It helps me to know that I’m not writing in the wind lol And thanks a bunch! I’m going to continue to be patient and wait for my next door to open as well. Be blessed!!

      3. I use to when I was younger too but stopped. I need to start back. I’ll be looking forward to the future posts. With a degree in marketing I’m sure you’ll be on your way soon. Have a Strawberry and Carbonara type day!

  2. I’ve most def been feelin this since summers got here. This post beautifully reinforced the thoughts I’ve been having as of late, thanks Ally!! ❤

    1. Tom! Thanks so much for your comment. I’m happy to hear that it has touched you, just remember that above all else, continue to do you. Stay blessed. 🙂

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